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Praying over my baby tonight, for Gods healing to come upon her, I realized how short life is.

Not that she is gravely ill or has a disease or virus that would take her, but whatever it is, no one wants.

My Kristen baby!

I thought about all the things that are going on in the world today.

The “new” things I’ve had to teach each of them, about who we are, our past as black Americans.

I’ve had to explain why every time we turn the television on, they are bombarded with images of a racist, corrupted officer, and spiritually DEAD white American man, killing a black American man.

I’ve spent most of my life tearing down stereotypes and fighting hard…to just be me.

A fighting mother

It’s been difficult to say the least, no one wants their kids to feel as if someone is better than they are.

Anyone who can pass for or “looks” like a white American, will NEVER understand what it’s like to be black in a “white America.”

I know what I grew up with, I refuse to have my children be subject to the same thing. I’m no historian, but I believe we, as a nation are only about three generations from the civil rights movement.

My grandfather 90ish, still alive today, has been through all the movements, and being a black man from Mississippi, he had to come to California or be hung from taking a watermelon.

I’ve felt the isolation of being a black woman and mom, everywhere I go. I cannot change my skin color nor should I wish to. I’ve struggled to learn how to love the skin I’m in since I was a child, growing up in predominantly white or latino occupied schools.

I’ve felt that I was never going to be good enough to make a difference, where people thought I was something I was not.

I’ve spent most of my life tearing down stereotypes and fighting hard …to just be me.

A woman who loves the Lord with all her heart and soul, who loves her family and has BIG dreams.

As I was praying over my baby tonight for healing, I couldn’t help but cry out to the Lord to heal a nation still broken and still…just don’t get it.

As a Christian black woman, I feel its my job to keep my sanity, to not go with the “flow” of the World, even those who are “Christians” also in the World. I flow with Jesus.

My Love, pulled over many times in his 33 years, because of his skin color.

This battle was never against flesh and blood.

We have an INVISIBLE enemy; I’ve seen the battles in the heavenly realms.

Oh, praise the Lord, for he has listened to my pleadings! He is my strength, my shield from every danger. I trusted in him, and he helped me. Joy rises in my heart until I burst out in songs of praise to him.

(Psalm 28:6-7)

As the love of many grows cold and people seek their own justification, lawlessness WILL abound. (Matt 24:12)

Its not the end yet, things will get worse and worse.

As a child of God, I will not fret, as the days draw near, our redemption is at hand. (Luke 21:28)

I cannot protect my babies from everything.

If I could put them in a bubble, I would.

I can teach them to lay their trouble, every burden, at the feet of Jesus Christ.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NLT

This battle was never against flesh and blood.

A praying mother

So, with that, I put my trust in the Lord.

I lean on Him.

He is the Rock of my salvation, my Sovereign, Almighty God.

The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?”

Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear; Though war may rise against me, In this I will be confident…For in the time of trouble

He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle

He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.”

Psalm 27:1-5


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