My blog stems from this article:
PLEASE THINK MY WAY Nine times out of ten, arguments end with each person more convinced they are right. Why make your spouse feel uncomfortable? Why put your spouse in an embarrassing situation? If you are not asked for your opinion, they don’t want it, so why argue? Shouldn’t you let your spouse save face? […]PLEASE THINK MY WAY — LOVE YOUR SPOUSE
If you have been with your spouse any matter of years, you would probably agree with this article. I have to say I definitely do!
As a young mother of four girls at 33, I have learned the beauty of being quiet before my husband of ten years now. It’s funny because we are both very verbal people, and really head strong when it comes to the things we are passionate about. Especially our faith.
In our college days, four years before marriage, we would go back and forth about the things we were passionate about. I felt, no way “he could be right!” I laugh when I think back to when we were in college.
I thought I knew EVERYTHING back then, and maybe he did too!
When I say “quiet” before my husband, it doesn’t mean that I never say anything to him, or that he gets to have the last “say” of everything.
What it means is that I respect my husband, I listen to him, and become subject to him. Yes, Subject!
My husband is head over the house.
So I have learned to allow him to express himself, as I stand quietly and LISTEN to him. I look at him as he speaks, this shows interest and respect. Then, IF he asks for my opinion or what I think, I THINK about what I am going to say first, then say it.
If he doesn’t agree, it is okay. We are two DIFFERENT people, brought together by Christ.
I will not argue, even if everything inside of me fights to do so. Why?
It just causes strife. I pray for him instead. If he is wrong, God will reveal it to him, or to me if I am wrong. This works both ways.
In this way, we are loving each other, and can express ourselves in a safe manner.
Earlier in our marriage, when we first had our twins, we still had the back and forth situation going on. Someone had to be right.
But, as our twins got a little bit older, we realized that, whenever we had a disagreement with each other, especially in front of them, they stopped to LISTEN.
No matter what they were doing, crawling, laughing, babbling, they always stopped to LISTEN.
I believe I was about 25 years old, when I finally realized that the way we disagreed with each other wasn’t working anymore, even behind closed doors. We talked about it, and disagreed on that!
So one day, I looked at how I was praying about it, and the Lord revealed to me that I was praying the WRONG way, lol!
Yes, He simply told me to “Be quiet and listen!” The fighter inside of me, said “What Lord! But that’s not fair!”
“That’s the problem,” He showed me.
I tried it out the next time we had a discussion. My husband braced himself for my comment, just as before, there was none.
I looked at him as he spoke, and I said nothing. I smiled to let him know I wasn’t mad, and nodded at what he was saying. Soon a smile broke out on his face.
We then started joking, and laughing as usual, loving each other. When my opinion was asked, I simply said, in a NONE patronizing way, “This is just my opinion but…”
And he listened. It doesn’t matter who is right. Relationships are about love and respect. A wife is subject to her own husband:
Ephesians 5:21-23 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.…
That’s why I absolutely loved this article, I had to share it! It brought forth so many memories and lessons learned. And this article is written by a wise woman, who happens to be my Pastors wife. There you go!
It’s a reminder to the Christian wife to use proper discernment. Just about anything we say to people, especially our husbands can be taken the wrong way, but if we use wisdom, godly wisdom, then we will not be hasty in our words (Proverbs 29:20).
So take the time to read the original article linked above, you won’t regret it. Blessings.
As always, I cannot leave this post without asking you if you have received Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior.
The beginning to being a good wife and a good husband is having Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, without Him, nothing in either of these articles will work.
In fact, without Christ there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING to live for.
People have lost so many things, and so many are struggling to hold on to life. The only sure thing is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.…” (Matthew 11:28-29)
If you are ready, say this starting prayer: confess it with your mouth and believe it with your heart.
Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner. I believe You died for my sins and rose to give me life. Right now Lord, I turn from my sins opening my heart and life for You to come in. I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Thank You for saving me. In Jesus name, Amen. (Romans 10:9)
Now, if at all possible, get to your nearest Bible preaching church (or online service) and receive the support you need.
Blessed by this Word, why not share it?