What Is Deschooling And Why It’s Extra Important

If you’re new to homeschooling or even just peeking over the fence wondering what it’s all about, you’ve probably heard the term deschooling tossed around like a buzzword in a mom’s Facebook group. And while it might sound like another trendy homeschool concept, I promise, it’s not fluff. It’s one of the most extra important steps you can take for a smoother, saner, and more joyful transition into homeschooling.

As a homeschool parent educator who has led my own five children from preschool to high school, I’ve walked many families through this journey, and deschooling is often the step that makes the difference between burnout and breakthrough.

So, let’s dig in: what is deschooling, why is it such a big deal, and how can it help your family?

What Is Deschooling?

Deschooling is the transition period between leaving traditional school and fully embracing homeschooling. But let’s be clear, it’s not a vacation, and it’s definitely not “doing school at home” without the classroom. It’s a mental reset.

Deschooling helps both parents and kids let go of school’s rigid routines, bells, busy work, and box-checking, and start discovering the joy of learning without pressure. Homeschooling offers flexibility, freedom, and family time that traditional school just can’t. But before you can fully enjoy that, you need to detox from the school mindset, and that’s where deschooling comes in.

Why Deschooling Is a Game-Changer

Some families try to jump straight into a full curriculum after pulling their kids from school and hit a wall fast. Tears, frustration, resistance, you name it.

Here’s why deschooling is the reset button you didn’t know you needed:

1. It Breaks the School Mold

We’re conditioned to think education must look like desks, worksheets, quizzes, and grades. Deschooling helps dismantle that idea so you can build a home education that fits your child, not the other way around.

2. It Prevents Burnout

Parents and kids alike need time to decompress. You’ve both been on a treadmill, and suddenly someone hit the emergency stop. Deschooling is your chance to breathe, rest, and recalibrate before jumping into a new pace. Even avid homeschoolers like myself need time to decompress or things get mundane. That’s why I wrote the article “How To Prevent Homeschool burnout.” I’ve been there and it’s not pretty!

3. It Rekindles Curiosity

Many kids come out of school drained or uninspired. Deschooling gives them a chance to rediscover what they love to learn, whether it’s bugs, baking, or building things with duct tape and cardboard. And that spark? That’s where real learning begins.

A word of caution: Sometimes, in our effort to let our kids “decompress,” deschooling can start looking like no schooling at all.

I dive deeper into this in my article “Suddenly Unschooling Becomes No Schooling”, where I share what happens when well-meaning families swing too far into freedom and end up directionless. There’s a difference between child-led learning and letting go of structure altogether. Deschooling should be restful, but it should also be intentional.

How Long Should You Deschool?

There’s no hard rule, but here’s a helpful guide: about one month of deschooling for every year your child spent in traditional school. So, if your child just finished third grade, aim for three to four months.

But don’t panic! This doesn’t mean they’ll “fall behind.” Quite the opposite, this time helps them build a stronger foundation for meaningful learning later. And spoiler alert: they’ll probably start learning again before you even realize it!

What Does Deschooling Look Like?

This is the fun part, because deschooling is incredibly flexible and actually enjoyable. It’s not “doing nothing,” but it is about doing things differently.

I’m going to list some gentle, no-pressure activities to try, these have given previous parents in my 5 Arrow Homeschool Academy program the most success when transitioning:

• Read Together (and Independently!)
  Let your kids pick books that actually interest them. Fiction, comics, nature guides, it all counts.
• Explore the Outdoors
  Take walks, visit parks, turn over rocks, spot birds. Nature is the best classroom, and it doesn’t require a whiteboard.
• Do Real-Life Learning
  Cook a new recipe, build a fort, create art, plant something. These things build life skills and spark creativity.
• Play Games
  Yep, good old-fashioned board games or card games can teach strategy, math, reading, and social skills.
• Have Conversations
  Ask your kids what they liked, or didn’t like, about school. What excites them? What do they wish they could learn more about?
• Try light learning with a multisubject and multilevel unit studies. These are our specialties and have helped many parents teach all their grade levels at once for a while and they often include the main subjects you would need without over doing it, such as ELA, Reading, Writing, history or social studies, and more. Check out the shop before you leave!

The Parent’s Role: You’re Deschooling Too

Deschooling isn’t just a child-focused activity, it’s a mindset shift for you, too. You might be surprised at how much schooling you’ve internalized over the years. I remember when I first started the homeschool process about twelve years ago now, I framed it how I remembered school. It didn’t take long for that not to work and over the years, I can say a great many things have changed. So, give yourself permission to unlearn a few things.

Here’s what I suggest you can do:

• Observe and Reflect
  Watch your child. What do they do when no one’s telling them what to do? Those clues will guide your homeschool direction.
• Research Homeschool Styles
  Now’s a great time to explore: Charlotte Mason, classical, unit studies, eclectic, unschooling, and more. You don’t have to pick just one, but knowing your options is empowering. If you visit our Homeschool 101 page, you will see all the different methos listed below.
• Let Go of the Clock
  Learning doesn’t need to happen between 8 and 3. In fact, some of our best homeschool moments happen in the evening or over breakfast. Get comfy with a flexible rhythm.

How Will You Know Deschooling Is “Working”?

There’s no buzzer that sounds when you’re done deschooling, but you’ll start to notice changes:

• Your child is curious again.
• They initiate learning, asking questions, picking up books, exploring new hobbies.
• You feel less pressure to replicate school and more confidence in charting your own path.

That’s your green light to begin gently introducing structure, whether it’s a simple routine, a chosen curriculum, or diving into a favorite subject. In fact, many parents have asked me:

What should I teach, and what should my student be learning?

I love this question, because on this site you will find everything you need to know about every grade level and how to teach it, or where to get resources from it. I have created downloadable guides and online guides for Elementary, Middle School, and High School!

Give It the Time It Deserves

Deschooling might feel slow or even scary at first, especially if you’re used to grades and report cards and neatly outlined lesson plans. But this is the beginning of something better: a homeschool experience that reflects your family’s values, goals, and rhythm.

Let deschooling be your permission slip to pause, breathe, and reset. You’ll come out of it with more clarity, confidence, and connection, not just as a teacher, but as a parent.

So, if your family is new to homeschooling, or just feeling a little burned out from the system, give deschooling a try. It’s not wasted time, it’s an investment in a lifelong love of learning.

And trust me, from one homeschool mom to another homeschooling parent, you won’t regret it!

From Our Shop to Your Homeschool:

Recent Homeschool Articles: